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About Varied / Hobbyist Alicsesther Sophia-cie AulcasterFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
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Statistics 97 Deviations 611 Comments 1,990 Pageviews

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I've put your poison in my veins,

but there's nothing inside it can kill,

I've put your trust into words I seek,

I should have trusted in me,

I'm so bipolar with how I should feel,

and now it burns around me.

I throw my life into yours,

and I want it back,

I compared my heart to yours,

I guess I need you back,

I'm still looking to you for hope,

but you're not here,

you can't be,

and I'm dying slowly, more painfully inside,

though I began this with you while I was hurt,

and we left from there and now I'm hurt,

I can't find hope in another,

because I left it all in you.

I can't talk to you,

let alone yo the same for me,

I still love you,

though it's not my place to call you "dear",

Everything I can ever say will only be interpreted

as a way for me to hurt you.

All I wanted was to teach you,

now I can't as I no longer belong to you,

I've listened to you speak of how you run

through relationships like water,

All I wanted was to help you settle down,

I wanted to be the dam to a river flowing

through me,

who even though I knew from day 1 she was

already gearing to move on,

I wasn't going to surrender 

or give up on you,

Because everything I could ever give or teach you,

neither of us would find that anywhere else,

maybe, but not soon enough.

This isn't for me, I'm still trying to live for and do things for you that,

when I realise who I mean it towards,

I bury the thought in myself,

because when I think of you,

I wish I could feel hurt,

when I try to talk to you,

it's like you're never there listening,

and then I feel hurt,

I feel invisible now that you're not around.

Every time I told you I wanted you with me,

I was really trying to tell you that I need you,

that I'm hurt and I'm hiding it from myself,

I just want to be yours to hold,

I just need to be yours to care for,

I just pray you'll accept me,

it's not my fault I am the shell of a girl

staring back at me in my reflection.

I can't help but miss you,

I just want to be home again,

if home was anyone else,

maybe I could bear with losing you,

but I guess that's not the case.

I'm stuck here,

knowing that the more I realise

where here is,

the more I'll be torn apart.

If I ask for you back,

will you love me?

If I ask for you back,

will you deny me?

If I ask for you back,

would you laugh at me,

would you give me an excuse,

would you just leave again?

Because the entire time you were dating a girl

who is almost like you,

and she, I, knew I could always love you,

I could always forgive you.

Put an end to the fission in my heart,

I will always be your dear. 
I've been a little busy with a lot of things including myself but here's just something I finished today to make up for it and to make it up to someone
wow I've been gone! P.S. I would totally tap mettaton ex's ass
  • Listening to: Elements by Kina Grannis, Simple and Clean
  • Reading: Mangas and stuff
  • Watching: Gravity Falls
  • Playing: Pokemon X/Leaf Green,Shovel Knight
  • Eating: Already ate,gunna eat again
  • Drinking: Will drink soon
Decided to pick up photography and learn all the instruments!!!! *insert witty meme here* gunna be posting that monochrome nature stuff my friends and occasional color but I prefer black and white cause it's interesting to look at. Doing the typical author thing where I say I'm almost done but I'm not and also the thing where I say I need a brake and then hop back on something immediately. Will drop some poems and sweet sweet black and white photography and I've decided that this little book project thing of mine shall be named: Memories, For When I Am.


alexcinderpelt's Profile Picture
Alicsesther Sophia-cie Aulcaster
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I am in my own eyes a skilled writer and soon to be possible teen author, laying line upon line of stories of my life put onto paper as stanzas of poetry and short narratives.

I'm usually very friendly and would lick your face if I had the chance but be warned I bite on occasion ( I'm a fox but not a furry kk cuz? ._. ).

I play 6 instruments and might take up violin in the future even though I can't read sheet music to save my life which isn't very practical.

I'm currently in high school and have no idea what to do as an occupation after despite knowing what I wanted to study as I'm not going to college now.

Besides being a friendly person I'm kind and compassionate and do things without need of something in exchange even when offered because nice guys finish first not last because I will defend to the death the people I care and come to care for and I kind of have a short fuse when It comes to anger and people I can't tolerate despite being very tolerant.

I love anime, I love cartoons, I love my friends, I love music, and I love love love writing and an occasional sketch even if the sketch looks terrible to some people.

Fears/Hates: heights, needles/needle like objects, drowning (can't swim), mud,
people I can't tolerate at all, people who mess with my people, oh and I fear death and needles with a passion.
(see interests to get a feel for my likes but first I'll be honest I like and need attention to function properly)
So as the pickup line goes "if you like water, you'll love 70% of me"
you can contact me through here or gmail ( )
for anything! mostly literature help and stuff though please
Spanish, Japanese, and German are languages I'm passively studying

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Add a Comment:
Riamorr-Welenth Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014
Thank you for the favourite!
alexcinderpelt Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
don't sweat it :happybounce: 
Honestly-Not Featured By Owner Edited Aug 17, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks so much for adding "Childish" to your +favs! (▰˘◡˘▰) 
alexcinderpelt Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
eh no problem :D (Big Grin) 
yzkethrag Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave.
alexcinderpelt Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
np bra:D (Big Grin) 
randomcatsrfuntolove Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favorite!
ichigopaul23 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the fav :)
dopepope Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013
Thanks for the FAV
Suzuii Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave:iconsnugplz:
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