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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Enrique johnsonMale/United States Recent Activity
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>be me
>be hard at work
>school and what not
>trying to post pages at light speed
>feel free to indulge yourself in stuff that's posted
>tootles :P
A-are you who I think you are?
you must be! I'm convinced!
I'm sure!
you treat me so nicely
there's no doubt in the world
you'll try your best to take care of me right?
you'll be there for me everyday I'm just so sure.

Those are my mothers, I tell myself,
I can depend on them when I'm unwell
because they depend on me to be well

Dear mother,
how do I tell you?
that you were like no other but,
now I've replaced you because you ran away,
I've replaced you with someone closer, someone safer,
they're here in my heart to stay.

she's better than you,
all and every "she" I know,
they bring me up and raise me
rather than put me down.

good morning ma!
sure I can walk you around!
and yes ma I'm ok, just a little tired,
thank you for asking though.
my life is really this simple when she's round.....

she gave herself the job,
and so did the
rest,
I was given an escape from the realness
that is my actual family
rather than the one I've constructed around me.

Dear ma,
you're my best friend,
I hope you never drift away
I don't want to be without friends like you,
they keep me hidden, they keep me from
myself inside
they are my sanctuary when mine falls apart.

I've never wanted anything,
apart from what was given to me,
ha! yeah I borrow that from my favorite singer
because it's the truth,
my friends were given to me in a way
so I don't need much more.....
.....I just needed someone to care about me,
and someone for me to worry about
I'm. so. good,
at worrying.

Dear mother,
I'm not smart enough to run away
but I'm stupid enough to put up with you,
there's no where I could or want to go
so I'm stuck right now,
because the connotation of home when you're in it
is quarelling and questioning and stale, no,
the connotation of home when you're in it is self hope and starvation
and misunderstanding.
I needed someone closer,
I needed someone I had real reasons to look out for,
because my reasons for looking out for you are for
the perpetuation of my survival,
but what I really needed were best friends and a lover
to call my own.
I'm not sadistic towards MY mothers or MY family
because they alone showed me what I know.

Dear ma and my others,
Thank you,
I can never repay you but thats ok
because at least I'm less confused than I could have been
and I am respectful of that.
I would erase all these words but I need the truth out there
because some people don't believe.
I've never wanted anything,
apart from what was given to me,
and what was given to me was not only an escape
but another way to start over with the someones I can trust.

These are my mothers and family, I tell myself, 
I can depend on them to raise me accordingly
because they depend on me to stay close until the end.

Because a mother and a parent are someone that grow to care about you like their own when you feel you have none or nothing left.

-For my mother, mothers, lover, and best friend(s).
Mother
I live with people I don't know anymore......
Loading...
I remember when I was younger
how now, time seemed and seems to
stand still,
fate was never calling
and
life was never chasing or trailing slowly behind.
I always thought I knew what I wanted
at least for some years or so,
but what are you to do while you sleep
and your time flashes in your eyes,
heart beating still and slow in the darkness?
you.
do.
nothing.
you try to let it run its course but
even so you'll never escape
no matter how you persist or how hard you try....
that is what you do.

I have my options,
I have my reasons, 
I have my paths to success,
but I'm being told otherwise, that
I am very much rendered incapable of
going any further with any plan or plans I've come to know
if I don't wait and listen like a good little boy.

I've never understood the reasoning of making
good or bad choices since the fact is in all actuality
you set where you lead in the end,
not what you lead to get you there.
when I was younger,
I was so decisive that everything unfolds
after it's seen,
but things aren't that like that,
it's not quite that simple in the sandbox of life,
but when you're a child life is simplistic and optimistic
even if sometimes it's saddening.

let's talk about achieving and success shall we?
ha! that's a joke that sometimes I used to scoff and laugh at!
I was so confident in what I thought I could do and be,
but it's not easy when things are constantly changing
because they can't spare time to wait up for you......
I have some paths.
they sound so simple.
so.
simple.
at least I was convinced until I was told otherwise.

you never know how self aware you are
until your life and it's actions along with their buddy fate
start talking to you through verbal proxy,
yes call me crazy,
go ahead I'm used to it,
people have done it before and it spirals me down.
it wants me to know that I haven't learned enough
that I have to make a better effort in things
it's never too late I guess.....

every time it's directed at me,
because I always have one ear open and one eye listening.
nothing is simple,
nothing is ever simple.
because things are changing around me
and something wants me to catch up
and if I don't I'll slip and fall,
tripping all over myself trying harder and harder
to walk back down the road I want.

I remember, when I was younger
how now, time stands still.
always waiting,
always watching,
as I am reaching a convergence of paths.

I am walking down the road of the rest of life.
Convergence
I've never know what I should become, but I've always been afraid
Loading...
bum
bum
bum
bum
can you hear it
the language of you hearts desire
spawned from the fire within the
abyss of your soul?
it wants you to listen
so it can lead,
hear the other story of your life,
the one disregarded left on the sidelines
between white lines
in the darkness while you sleep.

I lay there and I wonder
in the somber twilit glow
what could it want from me
though I've known already
that a heartbeat lasts forever
steady in time
leaving me to ponder
what I may have left behind
in it's swishing, flowing, bloody contents
of these veins under my skin
I wonder if that's how it finds where
it belongs.

maybe it's smarter than I
smarter than my mind
should I really not follow it at all?
I'm stupid
and my mind is repetitive in the ways
of its thought
though
my heart is repetitive
but it's always something new
maybe I should let what keeps me
alive decide how I thrive
in this world of love and war
since I wont be bleeding out anytime soon.

bum
bum
bum
bum
is the lub dub song of the heart
it's sweet melody
drifts me to sleep
when its someone else's rather than my own
because in factuality I'm not listening to it
rather, I'm listening to them
and if I can make it beat like theirs
then possibly I won't have to be alone
as I die sometime not now or soon
but when it can't sing anymore.

I'll listen to my heart
beating in the dark
swaying and pounding through time
as long as
it listens to me,
but then whose story will be
present to behold?
mine or its
its or mine
only time will reveal its story
to
tell.

Every time I hug
someone.....
I find myself searching
for their
hearts,
beating slowly
and in time
wondering how far
they truly have
to go.
A Beat In Time
"every time I hug someone I look for their heart"
Loading...
  • Mood: Amused
  • Listening to: Elements by Kina Grannis, Simple and Clean
  • Reading: Mangas and stuff
  • Watching: Gravity Falls
  • Playing: Pokemon X/Leaf Green,Shovel Knight
  • Eating: Already ate,gunna eat again
  • Drinking: Will drink soon
Decided to pick up photography and learn all the instruments!!!! *insert witty meme here* gunna be posting that monochrome nature stuff my friends and occasional color but I prefer black and white cause it's interesting to look at. Doing the typical author thing where I say I'm almost done but I'm not and also the thing where I say I need a brake and then hop back on something immediately. Will drop some poems and sweet sweet black and white photography and I've decided that this little book project thing of mine shall be named: Memories, For When I Am.
  • Mood: Amused
  • Listening to: Elements by Kina Grannis, Simple and Clean
  • Reading: Mangas and stuff
  • Watching: Gravity Falls
  • Playing: Pokemon X/Leaf Green,Shovel Knight
  • Eating: Already ate,gunna eat again
  • Drinking: Will drink soon
Decided to pick up photography and learn all the instruments!!!! *insert witty meme here* gunna be posting that monochrome nature stuff my friends and occasional color but I prefer black and white cause it's interesting to look at. Doing the typical author thing where I say I'm almost done but I'm not and also the thing where I say I need a brake and then hop back on something immediately. Will drop some poems and sweet sweet black and white photography and I've decided that this little book project thing of mine shall be named: Memories, For When I Am.

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alexcinderpelt's Profile Picture
alexcinderpelt
Enrique johnson
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I am in my own eyes a skilled writer and soon to be possible teen author, laying line upon line of stories of my life put onto paper as stanzas of poetry and short narratives.

I'm usually very friendly and would lick your face if I had the chance but be warned I bite on occasion ( I'm a fox but not a furry kk cuz? ._. ).

I play 4 instruments and might take up violin in the future even though I can't read sheet music to save my life which isn't very practical.

I'm currently in high school and have no idea what to do as an occupation after college despite knowing what I want to study.

Besides being a friendly person I'm kind and compassionate and do things without need of something in exchange even when offered because nice guys finish first not last because I will defend to the death the people I care and come to care for and I kind of have a short fuse when It comes to anger and people I can't tolerate despite being very tolerant.

I love anime, I love cartoons, I love my friends, I love music, and I love love love writing and an occasional sketch even if the sketch looks terrible to some people.

Fears/Hates: heights, needles/needle like objects, drowning (can't swim), mud,
people I can't tolerate at all, people who mess with my people, oh and I fear death and needles with a passion.
(see interests to get a feel for my likes but first I'l be honest I like and need attention to function properly)
So as the pickup line goes "if you like water, you'll love 70% of me"
you can contact me through here or gmail ( kitsunechan27@gmail.com )
for anything! mostly literature help and stuff though please
Oh and I'm taking spanish and japanese currently so:
ありがとう みなさん! (thanks friend) muchas gracias por leer este (thanks very much for reading this) y adios
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:iconriamorr-welenth:
Riamorr-Welenth Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you for the favourite!
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:iconalexcinderpelt:
alexcinderpelt Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
don't sweat it :happybounce: 
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:iconhonestly-not:
Honestly-Not Featured By Owner Edited Aug 17, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks so much for adding "Childish" to your +favs! (▰˘◡˘▰) 
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:iconalexcinderpelt:
alexcinderpelt Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
eh no problem :D (Big Grin) 
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:iconyzkethrag:
yzkethrag Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave.
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:iconalexcinderpelt:
alexcinderpelt Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
np bra:D (Big Grin) 
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:iconrandomcatsrfuntolove:
randomcatsrfuntolove Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the favorite!
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:iconichigopaul23:
ichigopaul23 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the fav :)
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:icondopepope:
dopepope Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013
Thanks for the FAV
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:iconkyliott:
kyliott Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave:iconsnugplz:
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